"I Will Never Leave You......"
Last summer was a summer of goodbyes. The day after graduation, I said my goodbyes, got in the car with my family and drove away. I shed a few tears as I waved to my boyfried who was quickly disappearing into the distance. Then in May he came to visit me at my parents place for the weekend, so it was odd that I was the one to leave again. I was going back to my house in Alberta and I ended up leaving before he did. Once again, I watched him through the rear view mirror until he faded out of sight. Then in July I went down to visit him in Oregon, and at the end of the week, once again, I was the one leaving, driving off into the distance. I thought that was the last time I would see him before leaving for Saipan, but then he showed up in Seattle and surprised me during my layover. And then, there I was again, the one waving goodbye and leaving as I headed through security.
But in all those times, I was secretly thankful to be the one who was leaving. It's so much easier to wave goodbye and then walk, drive or fly away to the next thing. It's so much easier to be the one leaving rather than the one being left behind. The one who is left behind has to go back to every day life while the one who is leaving gets to move on to something more new and exciting. I counted myself lucky last summer as I was always the one to leave.
But now, as is always the case, the tables have turned.... I will be the one being left behind this time. Not by just one person, and not by my boyfriend, but by all the other student missionaries here in Saipan. They will all move on to new and exciting things - OT school at Loma Linda University, deaning at a boarding academy, working towards getting into med school, and whatever else they are being led to - but I will return to this island in August and try to continue life with out them. It'll be hard - other student missionaries will come in and do their jobs, but they will never be able to take their place. Life will go on, but nothing will be the same. I'm sure it'll be another good year, with equally wonderful people, but it's just hard being left behind.
The comforting thing is that Jesus promises that He will never do that to us. In Deuteronomy He promises us, "Be strong and of good courage, do not fear nor be afraid...for the Lord your God, He is the One who goes with you. He will NOT leave you nor forsake you...And the Lord, His is the One who goes before you. He will be with you, He will not leave you nor forsake you; do not fear nor be dismayed."
That gives me courage. I may leave people behind and they may leave me behind, but God will never leave any of us. He will go before us, stay with us, and never leave us. God will get me through.
But in all those times, I was secretly thankful to be the one who was leaving. It's so much easier to wave goodbye and then walk, drive or fly away to the next thing. It's so much easier to be the one leaving rather than the one being left behind. The one who is left behind has to go back to every day life while the one who is leaving gets to move on to something more new and exciting. I counted myself lucky last summer as I was always the one to leave.
But now, as is always the case, the tables have turned.... I will be the one being left behind this time. Not by just one person, and not by my boyfriend, but by all the other student missionaries here in Saipan. They will all move on to new and exciting things - OT school at Loma Linda University, deaning at a boarding academy, working towards getting into med school, and whatever else they are being led to - but I will return to this island in August and try to continue life with out them. It'll be hard - other student missionaries will come in and do their jobs, but they will never be able to take their place. Life will go on, but nothing will be the same. I'm sure it'll be another good year, with equally wonderful people, but it's just hard being left behind.
The comforting thing is that Jesus promises that He will never do that to us. In Deuteronomy He promises us, "Be strong and of good courage, do not fear nor be afraid...for the Lord your God, He is the One who goes with you. He will NOT leave you nor forsake you...And the Lord, His is the One who goes before you. He will be with you, He will not leave you nor forsake you; do not fear nor be dismayed."
That gives me courage. I may leave people behind and they may leave me behind, but God will never leave any of us. He will go before us, stay with us, and never leave us. God will get me through.
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But we'll carry on!