Dealing with Death

I meant to call my Great-Auntie Violet a few days after I got back from Saipan to wish her a happy new year. She doesn't have any grand-daughters and I've always felt very close to her. But, as often happens, time slipped away from me, and before I got a chance to call her, the sad news came - Uncle Ben, her husband - passed away. Instantly, I regretted not calling sooner. Now, the next time I would talk to her, the conversation would be centred around these sad and sobering circumstances, and I didn't know what to say.

So I put it off. For two weeks. Until today. I finally worked up the courage to call, not really sure what I was going to say...... What does one say in the wake of death?

The reality of death does crazy things to people. My aunt said that the days following my uncle's death, she couldn't stop shaking; she was sick to her stomach, frequent vomiting. Imagine losing the person that you've spent the last 60-ish years with? What words of comfort can one offer?

It wasn't really a surprise. He had been in a care-home for quite a while, slowly slipping away due to Alzheimer's. Even though he hasn't completely been there for the past few years, now he's really not there and that's a major adjustment. That's probably the thing that scares me the most about committing myself to someone, because one day, he might might be there anymore....... But, I guess I'd rather take the risk and eventually lose that person, rather than not ever allowing myself to love, because who knows, it might turn into 60 years after all.....

Uncle Ben, at my cousin's wedding in the summer of 2009.

This was the last time I saw him.

My sweet Auntie Violet