What If....?

Today’s topic: Something you always think “What if….” about.

I don’t spend a lot of time thinking about all the “what ifs” because it doesn’t change anything and we can never really know what would have happened. But there is one “what if” questions that occasionally sneaks up on me and lures me into its dark trap:

When Matt is late coming home from work or if he takes longer than expected to run an errand, my mind often jumps directly to the worst case scenarios: What if something bad happened? What he had an accident on his motorbike? What if…. What if…. What if….? Sometimes I even cry just thinking about the horrible possibility of ever losing him and having to go on living without him. (I’m tearing up just writing about this….) I really don’t ever want to know the answer to these “what if” questions.

So, I make sure I kiss him every time we go in separate directions and tell him I love him so that no matter what happens, he knows.

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[End note: I realize that "what if" questions can also be full of hope and possibilities for the future, but for some reason, usually the "what if" questions that come up for me are about the past or things that are out of my control, so that's how I chose to respond to this writing prompt.]